What am I to do?
I do not understand resolutions. Or why a new year is celebrated. Why not celebrate the year that just passed?
As a kid growing up, I participated because it was the thing to do. And year after year it just became a tradition. Never was I explained what is actually happening. Life just went on.
As an adult, it became something I could care less about. I mean what is happening? What is really happening?
New year. New me. Okay. How?
A reset of values. Seems to be the easiest way to describe what is happening. For some reason, we have made it a tradition to reset what we valued the past year. A reevaluation of where we want to go.
First, I must know where do I want to go. Hence, the idea of setting goals. Did this past year take me where I wanted? Or did I veer off course?
And what do I value? As a kid I valued what my upbringing programmed me to value. Not realizing I could create my own value system. And how do I do that? Why would I do that?
What do you value? What is important to you? Respect? Faithfulness in a relationship? Honesty. Trust. Money. Happiness. Security. Job. Passion. And the list can go on. So what do you value?
If you don’t care where you end up, let others set your values for you. If you want to consciously create your life, set your own value system.
I value honesty. So, when someone is not honest, it is easy to decide what to do next. If I value faithfulness and my partner cheats on me, it is easy to decide what to do next. If I stand for nothing, I will fall for anything.
My values act as a guide to follow to safely get me to where I want to go. With no value system in place, I will get distracted and end up somewhere I do not want to be: an unhealthy relationship or with dishonest people.
Setting values will give us clues of what goals to set. And who I want to be when I grow up.
Goals then, act as a guide to keep me from ending up places that do not add value to my life. Energizing me to reach my destination. Keeping me focused. And not easily distracted.
So, new year huh? What value system reset are you doing to make sure you end up at the end of 2019 exactly where you wanted?
Are your values being overlooked? Do you understand that values are set in place to lessen our emotional anguish? Where are you allowing others to overstep boundaries because of your lack of awareness on what you value?
Values help us set boundaries. If something triggers a negative emotion within you, take a moment and ask yourself what value is being violated. And where to I need to stand up for what I believe in?
Do you want to graduate? Do you want a healthy relationship with your friends? Your teachers? Your parents? What do you value?
Take some time this month and figure out what you value. Then see where those values can take you. Set goals around them. And stand for them with boldness. Don’t let others overstep your boundaries and abuse your presence in their life.
You are valuable and deserve to be happy. But that can only happen if you know what you value.
New year, new you only means something if you make it mean something.
Your future is created by you and no one else. You have the choice to decide. Make it a good one.