Growth is painful.
When things seem like are falling apart, they are actually falling together.
We hear terms like this all the time, but when you’re going through it, it can feel a lot like death, not growth.
Smaller battles hurt too, but….
Our biggest battles require the most from us and can literally strip us down to nothing. Sometimes, they can hurt so much that you literally don’t know if you’re going to make it through. They can be so bad that you might question if you’re going to end up in a mental institution, broke and homeless or worse, having a heart attack and actually dying. These types of battles can create losses untold. You may be betrayed by some of the closest people in your circle and feel utterly alone at the time that you needed them the most. You think you absolutely cannot take anymore and yet, you continue to wake up every day.
Why?
Why won’t this end?
Am I being punished?
Am I not learning whatever I’m supposed to learn?
What is the purpose in this?
Consider the transformation of the caterpillar. Most of us only think of the outcome – the caterpillar turns into the beautiful butterfly. But have you ever thought about what the caterpillar is going through? How this actually takes place? Once inside the cocoon, it all but dies. It breaks down it’s own organs and other tissues into nothing more than a soupy liquid. That liquid contains all of the DNA needed for a butterfly to form. If caterpillars can feel, this must be extremely painful and morbid. If caterpillars have emotions, this must be excruciatingly despairing. I’d argue that this is less of a transformation and more of a death-and-rebirth scenario. Just like you, the caterpillar is stripped to nothing but a liquid mess. You’ve felt that way, right? I’d also argue that the caterpillar has no choice in this situation, just like you. Sometimes, you are forced to go through things that absolutely scare you to death. But from this, an absolutely beautiful creature grows.
What are you growing into?
How might all that you’re going through, ultimately, bring you to the person you were meant to be, with the dream you’ve always had?
If this is the biggest battle of your life, understand that this too, will be the most beautiful outcome. Do your best to accept the situation, bare down and grab hold of every ounce of strength you can find. You will make it through. And the other side, well, it’s more breathtaking than you ever imagined.